It was a mistake.
We all have something we want to achieve in life, right? Do you tell people what your goals are? Because I once do! And I’m sure, never again will I tell people about them.
I quit my job as an overseas worker and told my friends about my goals. “I want to travel the world and make a living out of it,” I told them. I garnered more ‘questions’ instead of encouragements. Their comments were, “how in the world would you do that when you don’t have enough money? You need money to travel, you know.”
The questions turned into problems that needed a solution. I admit I was irresponsible for not being prepared. When they asked about my plans, I couldn’t answer. There’s no plan in place after all. There’s nothing after quitting my job. I just wanted to spend Christmas and New year home (it was holiday season when I quit), which I hadn’t done for many years. Everything was blurred except for one thing, I want to travel.
One of my friends said, “There are many Filipinos who dream of working abroad but can’t. Why are you quitting now when you don’t even have enough savings. Let alone a plan after this.” This was downright true! The decision was insane. I myself wonder where it would take me.
My boss asked, “What will you be up to?” I replied, “Maybe, I’ll travel.” I wasn’t even sure if I could sustain it. I proceeded to tell him some of the first countries I’d like to travel in Asia, like Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia. He was surprised.
He retorted, “Do you know how much it costs to travel?” Bottom line, he didn’t want me to go, but I made up my mind.
Another friend said, “Why don’t you work for two or three years more so you can save.” I got this remark most of the time. Money was a factor. Not long after, questions on how to achieve the goal without enough money came flooding me.
Many, though in different words, said the same thing. I get their point. I get that working abroad is a good opportunity. I didn’t quit to waste the chance. I felt otherwise. I felt I was in my comfort zone for so long that time had come to break out of it, no matter the cost.
Why money shouldn’t be the primary factor?
Telling people my goals was like giving them a puzzle they thought they needed to solve. They couldn’t connect the dots, but so was I. They wanted to know the answer to the “how” question that I myself didn’t even know. People just find it interesting to know how you’re gonna do it. In the end, it’s all about money. All I can say is we are so much more than that.
Well, don’t get me wrong. I love having lots of money. Who doesn’t, right? But people think of it as the most important factor in decision-making that it hinders them to make good decisions (based on comments I got), and I guess most especially to overseas workers. It’s hard to make money abroad, you know.
But we live not for the purpose of paying bills. Sure enough, everybody has bills and debts to pay but firmly refuse to work for those reasons. You will never be satisfied with money. It’s common knowledge. If you let it affect every decision you will make, you will miss out so much. You will end up working to chase it, and until you realize that it’s only a tool, and you break out of the chasing loop, you will never gain control over it. Instead, it’ll control you, and it’ll end up affecting every important decision you are bound to make.
How do you break out of the loop of chasing money? Change your mindset. That, and of course, the courage to defend your goals no matter how absurd they are to other people.
In the end…
Well, it somehow boils down to a thing or two. If you tell people about your goals, they’ll bring up reasons on why you should rethink your decision, and most probably, why you shouldn’t pursue your goals. It’ll foster ideas that may cause you to hesitate or get scared for going after what you really want in life, and you’ll lose your courage.
This applies to almost everything, so in my personal opinion, it’s a lot better not to tell them your goals. Keep them to yourself first. Tell them the story when you already achieved them. It’s that perfect time when you got the answers to the “hows”.
©Melanie Bacelisco – The Adventures Of Inday
P.S. A little over I wrote this blog, I got an opportunity to travel to Thailand, my first ever out of the country trip. But my purpose there wasn’t all leisure and travel, I went on a Vipassana meditation and it’s one of the best decisions I made in my life. You can read all about the meditation here.